Crouching Tigress, Teasing Dragon
by Honourable Fool
Summary: The Tigress and the Dragon eyed each other from across the room and in the eyes and teeth of the other knew that death lay waiting. With any luck they would remember that this "fight" was only one of amusement. Doesn't have anything to do with CTHD. R&R.


AN/ This is just a cute little one-shot I thought up one day and I wanted to see how it would come out. Not too bad, if I do say so myself. It's meant to be funny and it gets a little fluffy, esp. towards the end. I'm rating this in the K+ (PG) but it does have some "insinuation" in it. However it is no more than one might find in an after school special sugh as "Full House" for all you Americans (a British equivilant I don't know). If you read it and feel the insinuations are more than K+ covers let me know, 'kay? I could easily be biased and mistaken. Also, as a final note, I did purposefully create the title to be reminiscent of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" but in truth that film has no bearing whatsoever on this story. They are completely different entities. I like that film alot (adore Zhang Yimou!) and I'm not trying to poke fun or ridicule. It's just that in the process of coming up with a title this is what I got and it made me laugh so I kept it. So please, if I haven't talked away your desire to read it, R&R an you shall make me a happy Fool!

Disclaimer: Maybe if I only had the Dragon Sword... Where's Chow Yun Fat! He'll know where to get it! In the mean time, I do not own Gundam Wing or its characters. For that matter, I don't own "Crouching Tiger...etc." or its characters or Chow Yun Fat. Just covering my bases. Now, off to wage war against Sunrise!

Crouching Tigress, Teasing Dragon

By: Honourable Fool

* * *

"This is completely ridiculous."

"It is not ridiculous."

"My job is to ensure that no one ruins this peace of yours, not to go gallivanting around looking like a penguin for a group of stuck-up diplomats I care nothing for."

"And my job is to ensure that peace continues by having good relations with those stuck-up diplomats. I have to go, which means that you are going. End of discussion." She turned to walk away from him but his voice, harsh and growing in volume, stopped her.

"It is not over, woman." His words cut through her like the edge of a sword even as it halted her feet, her shoulders tightening to contain her anger. "Just because you say it is does not mean I have had my say."

"No matter what I say to repute your arguments you will always find another one and this will never end." She turned, blue eyes flashing with the fire of their argument. "And my name is Relena, _Chang_. Why don't you try using it."

He repressed a smirk. "I will continue to argue as long as you have the silly notion in your head that I am going to this thing, _Relena_."

The flashing blue flame turned to a dangerous glint as she lowered her head, a golden Tigress caught in the heat of battle. She dropped her voice to an almost sensual tenor as she growled, "You will go because there is no way you are leaving me stuck in that place with all those politicians to fend for myself."

"I will not." He stated simply, coldly, his obsidian eyes narrowed with the challenge.

Silence pervaded the room, pregnant with the storm raging between their eyes, a battle of wills. Nothing moved. Even the red seconds hand of the little silver clock on her desk shivered and seemed to halt for fear of being detected. The curtains at the windows hung heavily as if soaked with the tension of the room and the windows themselves nearly trembled in their panes as if at any moment they might suddenly burst with the pressure emanating from the warring people.

At last she moved; a small lift of her chin and a flutter of her lashes. It was enough. He smirked triumphantly, thinking he'd won. But his own feeling of triumph faltered and began to fade from his almond eyes as a smirk appeared on her own lips. Instead he felt suspicion take its place as he watched her pose relax.

"Fine, then. Don't go." she told him and seemed to have nothing more to say. But he crossed his arms and waited, not trusting her to have given in so easily. After a moment she continued. "Of course, that means I'll have to go with Evans…"

"Over my dead body!" was his harsh, loud response before she could finish saying the name.

"Well I have to go, Wufei. If you went with me then I wouldn't have to worry about a Preventer escort. And as seen as it's so much easier to just go with a Preventer than find an escort and have Evans trailing after us all night, I think I'll just go with him."

"That imbecile? He couldn't protect the small end of a spoon!"

Relena raised an eyebrow at the enraged Chinese man, easily masking her delight. Instead she coolly responded, "Really, Wufei, he _is_ your colleague. And he's my bodyguard."

His voice was one of forced calm as he said, "You are not going with Evans!" attempting not to give her the satisfaction of seeing how irked he was. Pretty boy Evans was tall, muscled, with wavy blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. Not to mention he was "adorably" shy, as the women Preventers liked to say. All this spelled one thing: disaster. He had meant to have the man removed from Relena's security detail weeks ago, but hadn't found the time to talk to Une about what had seemed like so trivial a matter. Now suddenly seemed like as good a time as any.

Wufei turned his back on her and stepped towards the door of her office. "Where are you going?" she demanded, emotion slipping into her voice in the form of surprise. She must have thought she'd had him.

"I'm going to talk to Une about removing Evans as your bodyguard." He smirked at her over his shoulder. "And I also need to mention how I don't think it's safe for you to go to the gala this weekend." He looked away, smirking, his hand reaching for the door.

"Don't even think about it, Chang Wufei!" His hand halted, his elegant eyebrows arching into his forehead. He always knew he'd touched a nerve when she said his full name in the traditional Chinese form. Still, trouble or not, he could not let her win this one.

Slowly, languidly, he turned on the spot until he faced her, then crossed his arms over his lean chest, allowing his body to fall back softly against the solid cherry door. His face was almost cat-like in its expressionless boredom, a look he knew she hated, and gently he allowed one thin, black eyebrow to arch in a half-hearted query.

Before him Relena was fuming. Her hands balled into fists beside her tight, knee-length business skirt, her chest rising and falling in deep, furious breaths beneath the white, silky blouse that clung to her figure. She had lowered her head again in that Tigress stance, her shoulders stiff, and he quickly understood the danger he was in. And yet he didn't shift to change his attitude.

"How _dare_ you! I have been planning for this gala for weeks!" she began lowly, her voice gaining in tempo, rising in a crescendo as she continued. "And now, just because you are too _cowardly_ to face a few diplomats I have to lose out on an opportunity that could further peace between the colonies and former earth nations?"

His face twitched at the insulting word and it was all he could do not to cry out, "Injustice!" His enjoyment of a moment before faded as he said in an equally dangerous tone, "It has nothing to do with cowardice! It is now far too late for you to find another escort and still do a proper background check on him. Therefore I have deemed it unsafe for you to attend."

"You are a field agent, Chang, having nothing to do with my security! You cannot make such decisions!"

"If you're insistent enough," he continued in a slightly calmer voice as if she hadn't spoken "I could always assign someone like Preventer Rivera to be your escort."

"You mean big, unfit for a tux and having level zero social skills?" she scoffed. "I think not!"

"Then you aren't going." He pushed off from the door, turning to leave for real this time.

"I am going with or without your 'permission'."

"Even if you have to go alone?"

"Even if I have to go alone."

It was all he could do to suppress his growl of rage, but the tilt of her chin and the tightness of her jaw relayed to him her seriousness.

"That is ridiculous, woman!" he hollered, taking a step towards her. But he'd crossed the line again.

She stepped towards him as well as she growled back, eyes roaring with rage, "If you call me woman one more time, Chang…"

But she never got the rest of her threat out. Suddenly his arms were around her waist and he was taking the last step that closed the distance between them, pulling her bodily into him even as his lips found hers, effectively silencing her. For a moment she hung limp in his arms, refusing to give in. But then he moved his mouth against her and her fiery blue eyes slid closed, her hands going to the well muscled arms that kept her upright, and she moaned softly.

He smiled against her lips just before pulling his head back slightly, surveying her fair face. Her eyes fluttered open and he saw that her expression hovered between pleasantly dazed and completely enraged. "Why must you be so stubborn, woman?" he whispered, lifting a hand to gently pass his thumb over her flushed cheek.

"Why can't you just do as I ask?" she breathed back, still too dazed to muster her anger fully.

He only chuckled softly and dipped his head down to kiss her again. This time her hands slid up from his arms and around his neck as she held him close, urging him farther down into her while her fingers toyed with the small, tight ponytail at the back of his head, teasing the sensitive scalp. He deepened the kiss at her whim and her hands moved to cup his face against hers, holding him there while she moved her lips against his almost torturously. And then she was pulling away from him, leaving him wanting so much more, and he began to understand that it was meant as torture.

"You may think you can just kiss this away, Wufei, but I'm not nearly done with you." Her voice was regaining some of its firmness now and he didn't like what it portended.

"You know, for a pacifist you're pretty argumentative." He teased.

She arched an eyebrow at him. "I'm also a politician."

"I hate politicians." He whispered huskily, lowering his face to hers again.

"I know." She whispered back, waiting until he came just close enough… Pulling back suddenly, she said, "You know, if this is how we're going to end every fight…"

His mouth halted her speech with a sudden assault that she endured for several seconds before freeing herself.

"…then perhaps we ought to fight…"

Again he kissed her, deeply, crushingly.

"…more often. But if we did that…"

For the fourth time he stopped her words, momentarily stilling her lips. But she would not be so easily influenced.

"…then we'd never get anything settled…"

The fifth time he kissed her lasted almost as long as the first as he placed a hand to her head in an attempt to keep her there. But Relena was nothing if not resilient.

"Wufei,"

"By the gods, Relena! Must you be so stubborn? I'm trying to kiss you!" She grinned at his quiet outburst, more passionate than the louder ones of before and spoken through a half-frown, half-grin as he struggled between his own pleasure and annoyance.

"I was going to say that I like it when you kiss me after a fight. But if you'd like we could begin arguing again. Especially if that would motivate you." She blushed a little at the implication in her own words but lifted her chin and did not back down. He only shook his head at her.

"Be silent, woman," He muttered gently. "And kiss me."

She did, and for several moments they were caught up in their passion, locked in one another's embrace. But the happy mood was broken suddenly by her door opening and someone addressing her as they stepped through.

"Madam Vice Minister, I…" the tall man froze even as Relena hastily broke away from her boyfriend, her face turning a similar shade to the deep red carpet she was standing on. "Oh," Evans stuttered, his face turning pink as well. "I'm sorry, Miss, I just…" he caught the death-glare his superior was sending his way and seemed to wither in response. Dropping his gaze to the floor he muttered, "Just wanted to let you know I was back from lunch. Captain Chang, I thought you might have headed back to Preventers already." He started to back hurriedly out the door when Relena stopped him.

"No, it's alright Michael." She ignored Wufei's swift look at her use of the man's first name and had a feeling Evans might have to pay for it later. She'd just have to try and explain to her jealous boyfriend that it was something _she_ had insisted upon before anything happened to him. "Wufei and I were just – settling an argument."

"Oh." The man blinked several times, staring determinedly at anything but his charge and his boss. She felt sure that the image of the two of them making-out was one he would not be able to forget for awhile.

Instead she turned to Wufei and smiled diplomatically. "I'm glad you could make it for lunch, dear." She said then stepped forward to place a chaste kiss on his cheek. He had to smirk at her formality, a result of her awkwardness with the new found intimacy in their relationship, but it didn't bother him. He did not believe in public displays of affection anyways.

"Good afternoon." He wished her demurely with a slight bow before stepping towards the door. Evans shrank away from him quickly, an amusing sight since he was more than a head taller than Wufei, twice as large and about five years his senior. Wufei, however, did not spare him a glance, deeming him beneath his concern. Relena almost laughed.

"Oh, and Wufei!" she called as he stepped into the hall. He stopped and turned so she could see his elegant, upright profile and she felt her stomach flip delightfully at it. "We _will_ continue our argument later tonight."

He arched an eyebrow at her and paused only a heartbeat before asking, "Which one?" Her blue eyes widened slightly at the insinuation. Grinning beautifully, he burst into laughter before continuing out into the hall, the sound of it echoing back to her.

Her eyes flashed at the challenge even as she grinned at the sound that warmed her heart. Oh, she would enjoy making him pay for that later. And if she was good she'd even manage to convince him to come to the gala. This would take some planning.

* * *

AN/ Hee! Relena and Wufei! Not the most popular pairing, but I actually really like it! Tell me if you liked it. Press the button and complete the &R, si vous plait! (that's "please" for all you who don't know French. And it's in the formal respective form!) And don't forget to use Inasuma-sama's 5 Star Rating Guide! Arigato! (that's "thank you" for those who don't know japanese)

Inazuma Akai's 5 Star Rating System for Fanfiction:  
1 star – This fic is unreadable! Get a beta-reader stat!  
2 stars – This story needs a face-lift in the worst possible way…  
3 stars – Not bad, but with a little more effort you can make it a really good fic.  
4 stars – There are some minor errors here and there but otherwise it's a very nice fic!  
5 stars – It's an exceptional work of art! More, please?


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